9/11 happened... right?
The cops respond to 9-1-1... coincidence, I think not.
Short Jokes
Monkey Man's mortuary, you stab 'em, we slab 'em.
One night my brother asked me, "Am I a pro gamer?" I said, "No, you're not a Pro-grammer."
There were 32 cows. Twenty-eight chickens. How many were there?
There were 32 cows. Twenty ate chickens. How many were there?
What's black and red/read all over? A baby skunk with a bad case of diaper rash!
Why do elephants never get rich?
Because they work for peanuts!
What color is a burp?
Burple!
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
So he could get into high school.
When you're sitting by the mushrooms and you hear one say to the other "Hey, you're a fun guy."
Why did the kids love the mushrooms?
Because they're fun-guys!
What do you call a pineapple in a pun?
A Puneapple.
When my friend eats a mint, I say, "Hey, is it mint to be sweet?"
You know, people always say your life is worth it, but with me, it's worth-it-less.
What's both red, white and sometimes purple?
My arms...
At every funeral, it's a try-not-to-say-"big mood"-challenge for me.
What's white and bloody?
Two doves in a trash compactor. Talk about a failed marriage.
If Italy attacked France from the rear, would Greece help?
Ya, I have a Hydro Flask.
H: My Y: Grandpa D: Sticks R: His O: Cock F: Up L: My A: Ass S: K:
If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?
Where do you go to get the best fish?
A restaurant on the Titanic.
