Short jokes
Q: What's an animation similar to Finding Nemo, but the fish has cancer? A: Finding Kemo.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Please.
Please who?
Police, can you stop talking so we can get to the end of the joke.
Lol.
What does the depressed person say to the happy person?
"Damn, I wish I was on the stuff you're on, lol."
Depressed people have beautiful smiles. Okay, it's not a joke for normal people, but it's a joke for us.
What's a depressed person's least favorite type of cereal?
LIFE.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
Because the pond was too shallow.
What do you call a taco in bed?
Es(tá co)stado.
What does a Mexican not like in their drink? Ice.
How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?
He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.
What do gasses and asses have in common? They both have asses in them!
Hey, I broke up with your girl.
-Me: What? Why?
Wait, what?
-Me: You f**ked her, so it's your baby.
Once, I tried to say, "P.P. That's funny right there." Instead, I said, you guessed it, "Penis!"
Look under...
Under where?
You just said underwear!
HOLY CRAP!!!
Crap with holes in it.
Get it? HOLE - Y?
Why was the sand wet? Because the sea weed!
"Wanna play the rape game?"
"No!!!!"
"That's the spirit!"
A chair came to life and said, "I'm alive!"
I said, "Yes, I know I am."
I asked my friend, "Hey, did you get a haircut?" and she said, "No." Then I'm like, "Really? Then why are you bald today?"
I was gonna do a school shooter joke, but it was aimed at younger audiences.
I was thinking of a good accident joke, and I asked my sister. She said, "you."