Short jokes
If you leave your small children inside a shower with Kelly Clarkson, you're a filthy parent.
My friend called me fat, so I challenged him to a running race.
Nah, North Korea got inspired by the fatman nuke that he also became a fatman with nukes.
why are people in japan so slim? because the last time a fatman came, they lost half their population.
Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?
Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.
Who is not hungry in Africa?
A dead person.
What does broccoli and sex have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a kid, youโre gonna hate it as an adult.
Me: Do you eat your cereal with water? You: No, why? Me: 'Cause your dad never came back with the milk!
How does a rapper fix stuff?
With a RAP-AIR!
What do you call a rapper who LOVES winter sports?
Ice Cube.
How do rappers make their money?
By dropping dimes.
Why did the rapper sit on the clock?
He wanted to keep it real with TIME.
What do you call it when Panera Bread decapitates someone?
Panera Behead.
What do you call it when someone lies to Panera Bread?
Panera misled.
What do you call it when you choose Panera Bread over something else?
Panera instead.
What do you call it when Panera Bread commits genocide?
Panera bloodshed.
What do you call it when Panera Bread goes to space?
Good question.
If you've spent less time inside your mother than your father has, you just might be from Alabama!
Me: What has two legs and bleeds?
Friend: Um, women? Obviously?
Me: Actually, half a dog. So you're still right.
Scientists say a banana a day is great for the colon.
But you gotta eat it!