Short jokes
Why are there no chemists in Africa?
Because you can’t take tablets on an empty stomach.
If McDonald's is fast food, then Dairy Queen is fast cream.
Why is 10 afraid?
Because he next to 9 and 11.
After an intense workout, I finally have the body I've always dreamed of.
It's in my basement.
Imagine saying "my bad" instead of "sorry for your loss" at a funeral.
At my funeral, take the bouquet off the coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who's next.
What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?
They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.
I hope I die peacefully in my sleep like my mother.
Not screaming like her passengers.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
What’s the best thing about making out with dead girls?
They can’t say no.
Edward Robinson + Grant Wisler = WHAT THE FU**?
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably go up in flames.
What do you call a Trump Supporter?
A piece of $hit!
Are you bisexual...
Or are you hellosexual?
When you got on an airplane, the flight attendant asked which hairline you were flying with.
Your hairline retreats from your face just like all the guys that look at you.
What's the difference between a CEO and licorice?
The licorice is black.
I feel bad for all American Clash Royale players.
They always start with two towers downed.
"You wanna play the rape game?" "No." "That's the spirit!"