Short jokes
Why do kids like bananas?
'Cause they like doing the nana.
What is one word orphans can't spell?
Family.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
*slaps* "We ask ze questions!"
What do you call James Bond in a bathtub?
Bubble 007.
What do volcanoes and suicide bombers have in common?
They both erupt when triggered.
Are you my pantry? Because you look like a snack ;)
Hello, welcome to Joe’s Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I help you today?
I was digging and found some gold. I was going to tell my mom, then I remembered why I was digging.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
I put on the wrong socks this morning.
White people can't say the N-word, but at least they can say, "Thanks for the warning, officer," and "Hi, Dad."
I am like Cookie Monster on steroids when it comes to cookies.
Guys, we shouldn't make jokes about 9/11. My dad was a victim.
He was the best pilot in Arab.
Me: I'm home, ma! Here's her with a new dad. Her: Go hang with someone. Me: Gets the noose, goes to fav tree. I love you, ma. 🙂
I farted, try me. You farted? Oh no, we all farted.
The plane crashed, but I did too on a pillow.
What do you call a lesbian alien? A "lesbeening."
What’s the difference between 69 and High School?
In 69 you usually only kiss one c*nt and look at one a**hole.
My sister's friends are hilarious, like seriously, haha.
Yo mama so fat, when she said, "I want a boat," they gave her a naval ship.
Imagine everyone being hoes.
I saw an orphan fall in the street crying, so I ran up to him and said, "Are you okay? Where are your parents?"