Short jokes

Short jokes

What is the difference between you and me? I have parents and yours left...

I told my psychiatrist I was going to go kill myself. He asked if I was paying for this appointment in check or cash.

During school today, a girl gave my friend her number. When I saw it, it was the principal's number.

"Lizzie Borden took an axe. And gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, She gave her father forty-one."

Gwen, hi, this is well, I am not saying, are you a girl? I thought you were a girl, but I could be wrong.

If Emma Feel had a penny every time someone gave her head, she would have enough to make Mark Zuckerberg and Trump her third-legged bitch.

What does a kid do when he's bored and he's sitting? He puts wheels on the chair and makes it a wheelchair.

Yeah, she said, "Do you love me?" I said, "Only partly. I love my bed and my mommy. I'm sorry."