Short jokes
What do turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
What is worse than a baby getting hanged in a tree?
That same baby getting hanged in multiple trees.
Why did the sun not go to college? Because it already has a million degrees!
What do bees like with sushi?
Wasabee.
LET'S GOOOO!
Why did the rhino eat the car?
Poop.
I am thinking of removing my spine.
It's only holding me back.
I never get school shooting jokes.
Maybe they're aimed at a younger audience.
Girls: OMG what color should I use, baby blue, light blue, or navy blue?
Boys: blue is blue.
Men: "I like dogs."
Women: "I like cats."
Chinese: "Food is food."
Gays: "I like men."
Straight: "I like women."
Bisexual: "A hole is a hole."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mail man.
Mailman who?
Bitch, do you want your mail?
You get paper cuts on each eye and walk off a cliff.
He got a paper cut and bled out.
That's kinda sus, you know?
Who's Lil John?
I'm in school shooting. #USA
The people in the Democratic Party are how I like my coffee.
Black and bitter.
Your forehead is so big your soulmate didn't even want you.
Your forehead is so big, Mastermind got jealous.