Short jokes
What did the soccer player say to the flight attendant? "Please put me in coach!"
If an orange is called an orange, why isn’t a lemon called a yellow?
What's black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white...? A dead nun rolling down a hill.
Is Uranus big? Well... your anus is...
Why did people say a man had nothing? ... Because he was a-nonymous.
According to Christianity, Jesus is the son of a GODFATHER.
What do plus a pee and a nut... Nut pees, wait, pee nuts.
Stranger: Do you want a lollipop?
Kid: No, I hate lollipops, so yeah, and you are not my daddy.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bum.
Bum who?
Bum holding a pistol!
I saw a poor man and I gave him money, and he said, "Nope, I don't need money." So I gave him money, and he punched me for no reason.
Kaas.
Jelianis' forehead😈
What kind of poops do ghosts take? A spooky dookie.
Me: I broke me bum.
Dad: Oh, that is bad. I will get some Pooh in the toilet so I can heal your bum.
Hi, I got fired. Oh, don't know which fire? Oh, the one that I got burned on, the volcano.
I lost $10,000, so I killed my piggy bank, so I get a real pig and money which my money is fake, but the janitor said it is real, so I killed myself and turned into a real human.
Son, what is 1 plus 1?
Dad, I don't know.
Son, it is 2.
Dad, oh, I was gonna say 2.
Me: I want a PS5.
Dad: Alright, I will say no.
Your mom is so ugly. When she goes to the dentist, they make her face down.
What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.
(Say it out loud if you don't get it!)