What's a psych ward worker's favorite incense?
Insurance fraud.
Teacher: What’s the closest planet?
Kids yell: Sun.
Except for one.
Other kid: Uranus.
Teacher: Uranus?
Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.
What's the difference between a cat and a human? About 500 bullets.
Say no to drugs, kids. Suddenly, the poster disappeared. I hallucinated. Must have been the cocaine.
What do leaves and suicidal people have in common? Nothing, one falls from the tree and one doesn't.
Roses are red, My heart, my heart is dead. I have a gun straight to my head.