Short jokes
Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.
Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!
What do you call an accomplished opera singer with recurring gonorrhea?
Standing ovation!
What's a dead person's favorite sentence?
"I made it."
Lil Johnny came home one day and said, "What do fucking each other mean?"
Then he walked through the living room and his dad was fucking his mom, so oh.
An orphan uses a family bathroom, and when he comes out, he gets told, "This is a family bathroom."
"9/11 people" say that jet fuel cannot melt steel beams.
Have you seen the Xbox game Sea of Thieves?
Sea if these nuts fit on yo mouth.
I don't care if I got beat the first day you were born. Your momma asked for a receipt!
IAIAIICID
What’s the difference between a fruit and an orphan? One gets chosen :)
I broke my arm yesterday. My bro said it is Arm-ageddon, and I still don’t know why.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some water. Jill pulled up her dress and said, "Daddy, fuck me harder."
Me: Spell "I cup."
My Friend: I see you pee.
Me: BOII YOU BETTER GIVE MEH SOME PRIVACY IN MY BATH ROOM!!!!
My Friend: Oh hehe O-O
What do you call an avocado that got shot? Glockamole.
This joke is like a vacuum cleaner... it sucks.
What happens when a depressed kid try’s to high-five a tree?
The tree leaves them hanging.
What’s the difference between a job and a wife?
The job keeps sucking after 5 years.
What did the mom say when her child came out?
"The head was so big!"
Why do people eat cereal for breakfast?
Because why not.
Things I would have missed if my attempt in 2018 worked...
My attempts in 2019, 2020, and 2021!