Missed Attempts

The humor comes from the dark irony. The person is listing things they'd miss if their 2018 suicide attempt had succeeded. The punchline is that they would have missed subsequent suicide attempts. It's funny because it's unexpected and kinda morbid.

• Attempt
• 2018
• Suicide
• Time
• Mental Health
• Survival

• Everyone thought I'd have a great year... 14 years just gave me more chances.
• They say the first time doesn't work, third time's the charm. Ha, not!
• I tried to commit suicide today; never doing that again. I almost killed myself.
• Am I the only one here that actually tried to kill myself 15 times and failed every time and landed up in the hospital every time?