What has a tail, a head, but no body?
A coin.
Short Jokes
"Hey Gwen, I'm back."
-Dev
"It's been so long they unblocked it!"
What did the lady say to Michael Jackson at the beach?
"Excuse me, you're in my sun (son)."
Jim: My grandpa fought in the army during World War Two. He was an officer.
Me: Cool, what rank of officer?
Jim: SS.
Me:...
Whoever kills Hitler goes to heaven. Oh, wait... nevermind...
In school, we learned that squirrels stick their nuts in trees. So, just like my uncle Dave...
Me: Stepping on a scale to weigh myself.
Everyone else in the minefield...
"Alex, hi, you here!?"
What do you call a skeleton's erection?
A boner.
What do people have a shot at when it comes to love? Shooting them in the heart.
Deku: Hey, Todoroki?
Shoto: Wht?
Deku: I just found out on the news that your dad froze to death. Do you know who did it?
Shoto: :)
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Tornado." "Tornado who?" "Tornado going to suck yo house up."
What do you (anyone) and a joke not have in common?
Jokes have meanings.
What do babies and grenades have in common? They both make noise when you throw them.
Sorry man... I kinda messed those things up.
What's a whale's favorite James Bond movie? "License to Krill."
GURL
Who is more loyal: a dog or a wife?
Well, lock them both in your trunk for two hours and drive around and see which one is happy to see you.
When you go to an orphanage for a field trip: When the workers said, "I remember you as a kid."
Dad, why are we here?
Because you're not loved.
