Short jokes

Why did Severus Snape cross the road wearing an invisibility cloak?

So no one would know what side he was on.

I rule my women with an IRON FIST!!

Yeah, literally an iron that my fist is clenching against her face.

It's a Italy day outside the fields.

I got knob cheesed after your sexy mom was on top, dry humping me on the vanilla-coloured living room carpet.

I like my women how I like my bacon.

Well Dunn!!!

Once you've had the mother,

Don't tell me you've never been tempted to do the daughter.

Your mom was absolutely getting drilled by me on the living room floor last night.

🎵 BEAVER BEAVER 🎵

LUBA LUBA LUBA LUBA LUBA LUBA

I'm walking down the street with a bag of dildos, beryllium, and a butt plug.

I like it when your mom keeps on top of things.

(Male fantasy)

Yeah, on top of me on the living room carpet, snogging my face off.

I was literally cradlesnatched as a child.

Yeah, in the arms of an older woman experiencing my first rounds of motorboating.

Your mom's ass is so petite and big, I'd pound that till the Earth shakes.

Your mom has quite the mouth on her.

As I found out last night. Oh, what a night!! 😏 😉 😜

About to go on a date.

But she was late.

So I got some tape.

And eventually punished her with rape.

Your mom smells so bad she could stun a horse in a field.

How to silence a black protester at a rally?

TURN OFF THE LIGHTS, TURN OFF THE LIGHTS, TURN OFF THE LIGHTS.

Who wants a spot of bukkake for bedtime?

Women should be seen and not heard.

But how would you control that if she was screaming "NO!!!" in the bedroom?

You look like a heroin addict in a women's refuge.

Did you hear about the bull who went on a shooting rampage?

I guess he was a little deranged.

I'm so bored and miserable, that I have sex with my inflatable girlfriend every night.

The best part? She don't talk back.