Short jokes
Yo mama's such a milf, she deserves a tongue punch in the fart box.
I went to a depressed person and said, "Do you wanna hang with me?"
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the gay man's house?
Knock knock, it's the gay man. There's a chicken at my house.
What happens when a black person gets in a car? The check oil light turns on.
What do orphans and sperm donor kids have in common? They don't have dads.
How many foster parents does each orphan have?
One half.
What is the worst movie to watch at an orphanage? Batman.
Man: Okay, tell me a joke without the expense of anyone's feelings.
Me: Okay, so an Asian...
Why can't orphans play House Flipper?
'Cause they don't know what to do.
My friend: "Ess, stop with the self-harm jokes it's not funny."
Me: "C'mon it's not that deep."
What is the biggest fear of firefighters?
Burnout at work.
What happens when the terminator pees?
Gasoline descent.
What cigarettes does Churchill's wife like to smoke?
Blue Winston.
I gave a deaf kid air pods for his birthday.
What is 3 feet tall and sits at the bottom of children's beds?
A: Garry Glitter's boots.
The Twin Towers are like snowmen; they fall and crumble.
Your forehead is like a line, it just keeps going.
How are laundry and Michael Jackson related?
They both got bleached!
"Hey, is that a peach?"
*gets slapped on the butt*
"Noted."
You're so fat that when you were born, the nurse mistook you for the father.