Me: Let's go to Randy's.
Friend: There's no Randy's.
Me: Ran deez nuts with a car.
Short Jokes
Me: Can I borrow your CD?
Friend: What CD?
Me: See deez nuts in your mouth.
My mom loved taking pics of me when I was a child. Thanks to that, people really believe my fake smiles! :3
Does an orphanage have daddy issues?
Yes, because he didn't come back from getting the milk.
Does Lightning McQueen get life insurance or car insurance?
Why don't cows make good policemen?
Because they refuse to go on steak-outs!
"You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia!"
"Wait! I can explain everything!"
Boy/girl: I love you.
Me: I love me too! But sorry, my mom said I can't date trash. Go back to the trashcan.
The boy/girl: I- *Is depressed*
What happened when the cheetah took too many baths?
He became spotless!!!
How are wet clothes and a depressed person alike? One gets hung up to dry, the other gets hung up to die.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have nobody to call "daddy."
Build your ex a fire, and they're warm for a day.
Set your ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence.
What’s the difference between a boomerang and an orphan's parents?
One of the two actually came back.😂
What’s the bravest thing a man can do?
Say, “I’m going to get milk!” to his wife and kids.
Two hotdogs are walking across the street. One is walking slow. What does the 2nd one say?
"Ketchup!"
Bro, your humor is so bad I bet you would laugh at this.
A B 💿.
Kobe: Stop doing dark humor!
Me: Why? They don't land well together?
What's 9/11 survivors' least favorite NFL team?
New York Jets.
What actor does an orphan hate?
Vin Diesel.
Help me...
