Short jokes
If I don't find a reason to live soon, my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling.
What were the twin towers plains?
God's playing Jenga.
I asked someone why they were crying. They told me that they had to abort their twins.
Then someone yelled "DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE!"
Q. How does a feminist stop a rapist?
A. By using her equal strength.
How did the guys with Down syndrome split the dinner bill? They all made a down payment.
If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.
(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)
You're the type of person to play "Girl on Fire" during a funeral.
You're the type of person to wash your hands after a shower.
The bushes outside got jealous after they saw your eyebrows.
POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!
I have trash so I throw it at my sister and say that she is a trash can.
Welcome to the Fast Food Divorce Center where yesterday's lies are today's fries.
When you are chilling in the World Trade Center, and then you suddenly get airplane WiFi.
This is Riley abortion clinic. Yesterday's loss is today's sauce.
Why are orphans very abusive to their kids?
Because they never had loving parents of their own.
Why don't orphans watch TV?
Because of "Family Guy."
Me running out of the hospital after telling COVID patients to stay "positive."
New skin unlocked: Blood splatter!
(Obtained by running over 69 children.)
My grandpa kept warning the people on the Titanic that the boat was going to sink. Result: he got kicked out of the movie theater.
Boss: You're fired.
Me: *pauses porn* Why?