Short jokes
What do you call German weed?
Mustard Gas.
What do you call a pregnant slave? A two for one deal.
Why does China have the biggest eyewear?
Because all their eyes are too small.
Family is precious, so you have to keep them away from the sunlight.
What does Michael Jackson say when he stubs his toe?
Ow!
We shouldn't joke about major tragedies. My dad died in 9/11, he was Saudi Arabia's best pilot.
Your mom is so fat that when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed, but the sidewalk cracked up.
What Football Club does Mason Greenwood play for?
Prison FC
I have an Uncle named Ricky, who made ur mom sticky.
His dad calls him pricky and everyone begs for his dicky.
Balls in your jaws.
You look like the type of guy to wash his/her hands after a shower! (And don't write in the comments that there are more than 2 genders.)
Q: Why doesn’t Jimmy Swaggart worry about his premature ejaculation problem?
A: He believes in the second cumming.
Period: Guess who’s back... back again...
Me: Ugh, can we not do this today?
Period: I can come back in 9 months?
Me: Keep fucking singing.
A hobo couple is making out under a bridge.
The girlfriend goes: - Johnny, why is your dick so soft? - Flip me over, I’m trying to shit!
What does a blind man and your dick have in common?
They both can’t get up without a dog.
If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.
Your mother is so fat, she actually went on a diet and started exercising, and I hear she's doing quite well now.
What do you call two transgender midgets having sex?
A microtransaction.
I used to work for a company called 69. My friend took over my position.
Did you hear about the man who died of a Viagra overdose?
They couldn't close the casket.