What is the one thing cripples can't do? ... Stand-up comedy.
Your mom is so stupid, she got lost in Bed Bath & Beyond and slept on the floor.
I'm in a wheelchair, right, so I've tried everything but one stand up.
It didn't work.
For someone to be stealing a bag of gold in Heaven, [they are] a criminal on Earth and [in] Heaven.
When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.
What did the headless horseman say to the woman?
"Give me head."
What film do orphans hate?
"Instant Family."
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away.
Orphan: But why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Why was the orphan so successful?
When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
Killua is hot, why?
He's gay.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
Q: What does encyclopedia mean by cut them in triple?
A: Encyclopedia, more like "An Cyclone Media!"
Why do shows have a family? Because they are "Pair-rents"!
How do fish get high?
Because they eat seaweed.
Why don't orphans like to get lost?
Because somebody's going to ask where their parents are.
Want to know the difference between an orphan and a flower??
Flowers get picked.
What do you do when you're sad? Kick an orphan!
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
A family put their kid and their dog in an orphanage but came back for only the dog.
Are you my fish? Because you're supposed to be dead.
What's the difference between a mole and an eagle?
They both live underground, except for the eagle.
