Why did the Twin Towers die? Because they had too many plane pizzas.
If your name is Jack, I think you are a stupid person that leaves their friends and blocks them on everything.
What is missing when an orphan buys a laptop?
The home screen.
An orphan saw a tornado, and he thought he saw his mom, but then he realized it was a corpse and said, "Hi, Dad!"
Why do orphans like fucking other dads?
Because they get to have a daddy.
What do you say to a crippled man getting bullied?
"Why not you stand up for yourself?"
I like my women the way I like my sandwiches... A little meat between their buns.
Say this when showing this website to someone: "You know, it's too bad this website doesn't have a homepage."
Why do orphans love blowjobs?
Because they actually get kissed!
Why are orphans good at math? Because they can subtract their parents from the family.
Why do orphans love tornadoes? Because they always pick you up!
What did the bird go to the hospital for?
For tweetment!
I bet for Halloween you were a Goblin. How about you gobble deez nuts?
Teacher: Why were you late?
Me: Traffic.
Teacher: Did I did it?
Me: Did I even blame it on you?
What fits neatly into a hole, slides nicely between breasts, and if used wrong could choke someone? A seatbelt.
What do priests and doctors have in common?
They both do physicals on kids.
What does a mother fear most?
Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.
Life is like a film; it goes on, but you can cut at any time.
If Sakura's head looks like earth, then her hairline has to look like the Milky Way.
What’s black and long?
The Chick-fil-A line.
