Once I was asked to perform snail jokes at a stand-up comedy night. I certainly snailed it because the crowd thought it was shellerious.
How does a train dance?
It bogies!
What's the slowest train in the world? A slow coach!
I got jealous when my phone died.
I visited the 9/11 memorial, that was bomb just like the towers.
Who can jump the highest?
Emos, some of them are still in the air.
Why can't an orphan get caught on the hub? They have no parents to catch them.
Q: Why did the emo kid get jealous on Xmas?
A: He saw the ornaments hanging.
My mom told me we were flying to a building to see my aunt. I wondered, "Are we about to relive 9/11?"
9/11 was like the 4th of July. It was very bright in the skies.
This joke here is the worst.
Why can't orphans bake?
They don't have milk.
I call my friends Dodo birds. Because they don't exist.
By the law, you are not allowed to have a sick bird. That's ill-eagle.
Why did Stephen Hawking not believe in God?
Computers don’t really have a specific religion.
What kind of knickers is the best?
Windy knickers, because they're the best kind.
What did one twin tower say to the other? "Be back, I gotta catch a plane."
Have you heard of the Tic-Tac-Toe Beetle? It has an X-O-skeleton.
What do you call a dolphin in the woods? Dead.
What’s a squirrel’s favorite OTT? Nut-Flix.
