Short jokes
Someone in London is stabbed every two minutes. Poor guy.
I got the newest Call of Duty game! I got a 200 kill streak, then I went home and played COD.
What did the Titanic say while sinking?
"It's going down."
Why don't orphans play GTA?
Because they're sad they don't get wanted!
No one is smart. I am smart.
If you jump off a bridge while crying, it's suicide, but if you jump off a bridge while screaming "parkour," it's a failed stunt.
I screamed "Jenga" today in class while watching a 9/11 documentary.
When you're having a normal day at school, but then...
"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"
What type of fish goes best with peanut butter?
Jellyfish!
How do Chinese people get their names? Their parents throw woks down the stairs and name their children after the sound it makes.
I was told to burn calories, so I threw your mom in the fire.
YouTubers: Among Us in real life.
Bin Laden: Angry Birds in real life.
Sonic Boom in my ass.
I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.
I wish I knew life, but my dad said it was a mistake to begin with.
My boyfriend dumped me. Guess who came back crawling for his zimmer frame?
What do you say if you are raped once but feel raped twice?
"I was raped raped."
What's white, yellow and goes 40 mph?
A train driver's egg sandwich.
What's the definition of disgusting?
Sticking 5 oysters up your grandmother and sucking 6 out!
It's not a mistake, it's a ✨ masterpiece ✨.