Short jokes
"OH MY GOD! IT SPEAKS!"
What is half of nine?
"ni"
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
What do you call someone with a big butt?
The Thightanic!
Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to smell her own nose.
"What’s your name?"
"Am erica."
"No, I asked for your name, not your country."
How does an emo greet people?
“What’s down?”
What do you call a protest that gets crowded?
Human trafficking.
What did the orphan say to the adopter?
Nothing, he just stared.
You're so fat, you have more chins than a fat Chinese with heaps of chins!
You heard that Michael Jackson autopsy reports showed he died of food poisoning?
It’s because he ate some 8 year old nuts.
What is the one kind of work orphans don’t know? Homework.
Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
To make up her mind.
What did the emo guy say to the emo girl?
"Like ur cute g."
The twin towers were basically Angry Birds but in real life.
Yo mama's so stupid, she drowned in the pond because the sign said, "No Swimming!"
What do you call a Mexican who can’t find the bar?
Barlos.
What's the difference between an emo and a prisoner?
The prisoner.
It must have been a sad day when you slithered out of the abortion bucket.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
You.
You who?
Who do you see over there???