Short jokes
What’s a pedophile’s favorite type of garden?
A KinderGarden.
What do pedophiles and Xboxes have in common?
They both get turned on by kids.
What does Nemo have in common with my dad?
They both can't be found.
When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.
Your entire family tree must be a cactus, because everyone in your family is such a prick.
A man walks into a bar, and there is a line of people waiting to punch him.
Yeah, that was the punchline.
When you get home and see your parents with your grades in their hands.
Twenty minutes later, they're slapping you with the belt.
Brazil is a joke.
Eastern Europe and Western Europe is a joke.
If Satan is the devil, he's pretty sus.
What makes laissez-faire and a gangbang the same?
Not my problem.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding only half a worm.
My peepee was big, now it's small.
So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging themselves? I guess they lost Hangman.
Did you hear about the midget who was beaten to death playing volleyball at a nudist colony?
Why is the Titanic good at baseball? Because it sinks it.
My friend: You really need to stop the SH jokes.
Me: But they're not that long.
Charger: Yo, Phone.
Phone: Yeah?
Charger: Can I plug all in you?
Phone: Ayooo!
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
Someone in London is stabbed every two minutes. Poor guy.