Short jokes
Where did JFK go in his car? I am not sure of his intentional destination, but he did go everywhere.
You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."
I told a diabetic boy to have sweet dreams, and he died the next morning.
I beat up a deaf kid the other day. I had to. He kept throwing up gang signs.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso espresso.
Nah, just kidding, it's bleach.
Hellen Keller went to town riding a pony, stuck a feather in her hat, and called it an "Unnghhtpthhh!"
I could be red, I could be orange, I could be yellow, I could be green, I could be blue, I could be purple, but I would be dead.
Why didn't the dog want to play football??
'Cause he was a boxer!
I asked this kid for a high five, but he could not reach my hand.
What is the similarity between depressed people and hoodies?
The color black.
Not even the FBI knows where an orphan's parents are.
Your hairline is so far back you ain't got a fo'head, you got a five head!
Doctor: You should stop masturbating.
Me: Doc, I'm almost done.
You've been hit by, You've been struck by, Planes!
Pickup lines in 2022 are like: "Are you Russia? Because your bombs are so big!"
How is the business in Ukraine? It's booming.
What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?
Children scream when they melt.
Wilt Chamberlain may have spread his seed among many women, but Kobe spread his brain matter all over California.
What's the difference between a dead baby in my trash can and a discarded sex toy?
...
I'm still trying to think of an answer.
Why can't Jesus walk on water anymore?
For the same reason a ship won't stay afloat with holes in the bottom.