Short jokes
When it's ready for pickup today, I have to get my stimulus payment for a while, and then we'll go to bed... 🥱🥹🥺
What do orphans, parents, and Nemo have in common?
Neither can be found.
Why does Apple logo depict 1 byte in the 21st century?
What's red and green and goes 100 miles per hour? A frog in a blender.
What’s a pedophile’s favorite type of garden?
A KinderGarden.
What do pedophiles and Xboxes have in common?
They both get turned on by kids.
What does Nemo have in common with my dad?
They both can't be found.
When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.
Your entire family tree must be a cactus, because everyone in your family is such a prick.
A man walks into a bar, and there is a line of people waiting to punch him.
Yeah, that was the punchline.
When you get home and see your parents with your grades in their hands.
Twenty minutes later, they're slapping you with the belt.
Brazil is a joke.
Eastern Europe and Western Europe is a joke.
If Satan is the devil, he's pretty sus.
What makes laissez-faire and a gangbang the same?
Not my problem.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding only half a worm.
My peepee was big, now it's small.
So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging themselves? I guess they lost Hangman.
Did you hear about the midget who was beaten to death playing volleyball at a nudist colony?
Why is the Titanic good at baseball? Because it sinks it.