Short jokes

Yo... Kobe, you're going down man. Did you forget the low grade fuel?

(Pick-up line) If your tits are the Twin Towers... can I be your Osama?

Girl: Wanna come over to my house?

Orphan: I have to ask if my parents come home.

Me: "Oh man, things are really happening for me! I have so much to do!"

Depression: "Lie in bed."

What do the Titanic and the Montréal Canadiens have in common? They both sank to the bottom of the Atlantic.

How do you know an abo robbed your house?

The bins (trash cans) are empty and the dog is pregnant.

You know why Hitler wouldn’t drink whisky? Because it made him angry.

You: "Captain, where is this plane going?"

Captain: "New York, 175 Greenwich Street."

Q. What's a bulimic's favorite movie?

A. The Purge.

Segma says, "32!"

Ligma Says, "And?"

Segma says, "Anding deez balls to your mouth."

If 6 guys are in a room with each other, is it technically a 6-pack?

What did the floor say to the ceiling?

"I look up to you."

I'm having lunch on the roof of the Twin Towers, and the biggest plane I've ever seen is flying toward...

I was happy for once, and my family was happy I was happy, but that all changed when they found out I was thinking about bridges and humans.

What are the similarities between orphans and unripe strawberries?

None of them get picked.

I hit a ball with a bat, it was called animal abuse.

Why can't a Leicester fan pull girls? He can only do the fox trot.

A kid decided to burn his house down.

His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."

We have decided to delete this part of this site on 10/24/2022.

Why did the panda cross the road to get to the bamboo house?