Short jokes

The bully: You're gay.

The nerd: I am.

The bully: Yeah.

The nerd: Then what are you?

The police: Pull over!

The kid: Do you know who my dad is?

The police: What, your mom did not tell you?

Why did the orphan play Monopoly? To at least get some money. #fake

What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? The Parent Trap.

What does an orphan get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.

I got a GTR yesterday, now my kids say, "GTR we there yet?"

You're so flat, you make pancakes look thiccc.

I accidentally said, "Go cry to your mom," to an orphan. 😭

Violence isn't the answer. It's the question, and the answer is yes.

I either want to hang, stab, or shoot myself. I'm dying to choose.

Bully: My d*ck is longer than your password. Me: I don't have a password. So you *won't* have a d*ck after I tear it off you.

In America, you fight Ukraine.

In Soviet Russia, you fight Mykraine.

"Fuck me right in the balls, you dirty cow!"

I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.

I was trying to tell some people here to stop, but then I found out that the S was covered in blood from me assaulting someone.

To the guy in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage coat: you can hide, but you can't run.

I wish Stephen Hawking was an organ donor. I need some parts for my laptop.

Stop being disrespectful to all those people and their parents. Oh, I forgot, they don't have any parents.

Pass me the sugar, Sugar!

Pass me the honey, Honey!

Pass me the teabag!