Short jokes

When I saw your hairline, I thought I saw kid Jason Voorhees.

I looked at your hairline, and when I saw you, I thought to myself of the last time I was a baby.

Your hairline is so far back that you have four faces to wash every day.

A girl did squats everyday with a 20 pound weight in her hand to finally text her boyfriend, "Show me your dick now!"

Bob: What is the percent of people who are depressed?

Me: If you're only counting me, 100%.

I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."

At least someone who is gay/Carter has someone.

when you see a depressed kid, you walk up and say "wassup my lil barcode"

Why do orphans never get 5 stars in GTA 5? Because they are not wanted!

Popular guy in class: I am so funny.

Me: Your parents are funny as they made a joke and people are still laughing at it.

Why should you never talk to pie at a party? Because it goes on forever.

What do you say when a cat says "me moaw"?

The cat says "me toooo!"

I say what Kay’s jesjejejeeuedeeeeeeee.

I would tell you a recycling joke.

But I’m afraid it’d just be reused over and over.

What do you call a blind kid with an eye patch and no arms?

Names.

You get hit by a wave, but you don't get wet. Why?

You were hit by a shockwave!

Have you ever heard of sex? Because you just got fucked.

You look so pretty. Not at all gross today.

It's always fun to take anti-depressants, you either choose to take one, or the whole bottle.

What do you call an emo that likes pizza? A pizza cutter.