Short jokes
What did one candle say to the other?
"Want to go out tonight?"
How does a tree access the internet?
By logging in and branching out!
I met a gay guy last night.
Man, was he a pain in the ass.
I was thinking of starting up a stair company, but there were too many steps to it.
How many balls do you have on your body?
2. Your butt.
Men.
Would you rather date me or a lady?
I laid deez nuts in your mouth.
My Crandall just be smashing more than you ON DA GIRLS, and he was slapping your girl last night harder than WILL at the OSCARS! ;)
My biggest joke: I’d show you, but I don’t have a mirror to show you.
George, when I saw your face, I had to shoot you with a Nerf gun. If you died, wimp.
When I saw your face, it instantly made me throw up.
Why do orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”!
What's tree + tree?
Sticks! (Three + three = six)
What can't you say to an emo?
Hang in there, buddy!
Why can't you say hi to a drug addict?
They'll say "yea."
Your forehead is sooo big, NASA thought it was Mars!
Why do the orphans love going to the bakery down the street so much? Because their cookies are homemade.
What do you call a person that can't operate a wheelchair?
Stephen Hawking.
Why does Michael Jackson have such a hard time playing chess?
He can't choose between black or white.
A child with cancer: "I want to be like you when I grow up." Doctor: "Oh, you're not going to grow up."