Short jokes
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? The apple gets picked.
I saw some kids bullying a kid in a wheelchair. I grabbed the kid, pushed him down the stairs, and said, "GTA physics."
Yo mama's so fat that when Legolas killed her, Gimli counted her for two.
These orphan jokes would leave them crying to their mommies if they had any.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? His left shoulder.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite robot? Him as his shoulder/wheelchair.
What happens to Stephen Hawking when he logs in to his account on Google when it says, "I am not a robot?"
What's Stephen Hawking's worst nightmare?
Stairs.
I'd mop the floor with your face, but you might just mess it up more.
What is an emo's favorite song?
"Suicidal."
Why did the judge dismiss court when the orphan walked in?
Even a gay prison wouldn't want him.
Why did the bounty hunter not cash in an orphan?
He was not worth keeping.
Me: I'm afraid of random letters.
Therapist: You are?
Me: [screams]
Therapist: Oh, I see.
Me: [screaming intensifies]
What's worse than having a comedian as president? Having a president that has dementia.
Me: What do you want to do for your birthday?
Fiancé: I want to go somewhere I've never been before!
Me: Well welcome to the Kitchen!
POV: It's a rapists' groupchat, not a joke section. And it's SAD.
Anyone have lightskin jokes?
Why did Michael Jackson dangle his baby out the window?
He was airing his blanket.
What did the blanket say when he fell off the bed?
Oh sheet!
lolo.
A man walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia.
The librarian whispers, "They're right behind you!"