Short jokes
So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.
If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.
You suck harder than a vacuum ever will :)
Your hairline's less straight than my dad's.
Your mother is responsible for all the train drivers that are never ever late. She taught them all to pull out on time.
How do you bury a prostitute?
In a Y-shaped coffin.
Add me on Fortnite, my user is liamonoce2004 :)
I was at a My Chemical Romance meet and greet that Gerard didn’t attend, I just thought... “NO WAY!”
What do you call a fat Indian that is actually a machine?
The "curry muncher 2000."
I gave a blind person a gun and said it was a hair dryer.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I decided to take her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
What is the last thing that goes through a suicide bomber's mind?
His arse.
What is more fun than spinning a clown around on a clothes line at 100 miles an hour?
Stopping it with a pitchfork.
What's the best thing about stage 4 cancer... no stage 5.
"Mayotte’s are sinking in the yogurt! (My Oat’s)" 🇾🇹🇾🇹🇾🇹🇾🇹🇾🇹🇾🇹
I once gave birth to 3 children.
"I need to go to the doctor!"
"Why?"
"It has a crack in it."
Your dad left you because he went for milk.
*1,000,000 years later*
Her: Dad come back!
Him: FBI open up!
Technoblade
Get pranked, bozo!
I pregnoot.