Short jokes
Question: Why did the blonde get excited after finishing a puzzle in 5 months?
Answer: The box said 3-5 years!
How do you know when a football player has been to jail?
When he goes in a tight end and comes out a wide receiver.
What do you call a lesbian with braces? A box cutter.
Yo mama so fat, even Bob the Builder said, "We can't fix that!"
What do a 100-year-old pornstar and The White Stripes have in common? Icky Thump!
POV: Your mum is a bomber.
If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?
My brother eats water from the pig factory at 1:00 a.m., and blames a deaf kid, so he ended up going to solitary.
Chloe Lutwyche, Bella Battese, and Hayley Wilson.
Yo mama so fat... she brought a spoon... to the SUPER BOOOOOOWL! YEAHHHHHHH!!!!!
Puss.
I broke up with my emo girlfriend yesterday, look who came crawling back!
You know why emos get excited playing Minecraft? They see a creeper.
You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's...
You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's.
A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.
You're so ugly, your mother thought about setting you up for adoption.
Have you heard of Wendy's?
Yea, Wendy's nuts in you mouth.
I hope you SEA me around later, 'cause I SHORE won't stay here for long.
What’s the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby?
Dogs only lick peanut butter off private parts.
"Me tells dad joke often."
"I want to hear it."
"Me? You wouldn't get it."