Shit Jokes

I don’t drink, don’t swear, don’t smoke, shit, I left my cigerates at the fucking bar! (Andrew Dice Clay.)

i think democracy is a scam i love men and i love you i love men an d i love you i love my dog he wontsleep iinside and i shitteed my pants i peed my pants i smell bad i took a shower and my dog was like oh my god i was like ohh i was like oh my god and then i was like i shitted again and he was like bark bark casue hes a dog thanks for listening

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Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end the faster it goes and every one is trying to shit on ya.

i will all ways remember my granpas last words after robing a bank O SHIT THE PIGS ARE CACHING UP but the cops did not kill him he drove full speed of a cliff

I don't give two shits about how evil these are there funny

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you get a deep voice you shit talk to 5 yr olds

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Two people walk down the road one sais to the other mitch we past weight watchers 2 minutes ago he responds jake the noodle shop is just here you been carrying that shit on your head for 14 years

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I have a cow over my house spending the night with me because she has been out in the streets homeless and poor so my family force it to come and live with me at my place. The cow ask me where do I keep all the dairy items like the milk cheese yogurt and meat? In the refrigerator where do you think i keep on the farm with all the rest of those cows? That night we had to share a room and sleep in the same damn bed then she starting getting high and drinked some cow wine with titty milk and it made her shit all over the bed.