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Two mates walk into a bar Mate 1 : Shit! look at that spider over there Mate 2 : Whateverrrrrrr Mate 1 : No, seriously it's bloody massive Mate 2 : (Turns around) Shit thats huge, I thought you were Joking Mate 1 : No I'm Fred King, Jo King's brother ;-)
Wats the difference btwn rapeboats mouth and a sewer? Nuthin they both spout shit.
My wife told me to hang her the salt so I beat the shit out of her. My names Kyle btw
I asked my nan if she wouldnt mind shitting in a bucket when we went camping, she replied why the fuck would i want to sit in a bucket, so eventually she did and i took the best shit i have ever had
you know shit is going down when anything pumped up kicks related is brought into school
I don’t drink, don’t swear, don’t smoke, shit, I left my cigerates at the fucking bar! (Andrew Dice Clay.)
When someone keeps talking while you are trying to focus on something, What is the rudest thing you can say to them?
SHIT- UP!!! ( shut up)
why does adam buy airsoft guns you might ask? to defend himself against his own father... his life must be shit
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because these jokes are not funny
Heres why the chicken crossed the road...
The chicken was on the run from a crazy-ass butcher ready to murder the poor thing, so the chicken crossed the road.The chicken was crossing the road, then a blind kid saw the chicken, and the kid was hit by a flying rock, his vision was blurred (what vision?) and was actually cured of the blind. The chicken ran and jumped into a truck's opening, and was never seen again... The kid got up from the ground and looked at the road, to see the chicken was not there, and said..." The chicken crossed the road...." The kid yelled at everyone about the chicken crossing the road, and got a lot of positive attention. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Reddit was full of the chicken nonsense, and gained widespread attention from N.A to Asia in only 1 day.
The butcher was arrested for the attempted murder of a joke animal, and was sentenced to over 20 years in solitary confinement, and a few weeks later, the sentence was moved to a life sentence, and the butcher became known as The ChicKiller.
The End (hope you enjoyed, i was bored so i made this shit...)
Why does donald trump smell like dog shit? cuz hes a dawggggg
I don't give two shits about how evil these are there funny
i will all ways remember my granpas last words after robing a bank O SHIT THE PIGS ARE CACHING UP but the cops did not kill him he drove full speed of a cliff
Yo mama so ugly she scared the shit out of the toilet.
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end the faster it goes and every one is trying to shit on ya.
