She jokes

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Little Johnny

  • Little Johnny saw his dad getting head from his mom. Johnny asked what they were doing, and mom stopped and said she was fixing his dad's pants. Little Johnny says, "That explains what the lady next door was doing."

    Kid

  • I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady. She asked which kid was mine, and I responded, "I haven't decided yet."

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    Suicide

  • I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.

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    Name

  • My girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian. I asked her why she isn't anymore and she said she liked the name Christina better.

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  • Yo mama

  • Yo mama so ugly, when she tried to enter an ugly contest, they said they didn't allow professionals.

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    Girlfriend

  • My girlfriend left me for spending my own money. I buy this bitch thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of stuff, but I spend 100 dollars on a prostitute, she leaves me.

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  • Exam

  • Today, I had an exam in school. When I was done, I raised my hand and yelled, “Pisstiano Penaldo!”

    My teacher smiled and took my paper. She knew I was finished.

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    Man

  • As a murderer, I stabbed a man after infiltrating his house. His wife came in and saw me. She fell into tears. I got up and said, "Drama queen!"

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  • Fat

  • Your momma's so fat she started "Fat Lives Matter". Meetings are everyday:

    11 o'clock McDonald's, 12 o'clock KFC, 1 o'clock Pizza Hut.

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  • Delivery

  • A woman just went through labor. She asked the doctor, "Was it a healthy delivery?" The doctor replies, "It wasn't delivery, it's DiGiorno."