She jokes
I started a new job. My boss said, "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky." I said, "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick."
She said, "How do you get Dick from Kyle?" I replied, "You just ask nicely."
Yo mamma is so dumb that she smokes to burn calories!
Yo mama so ugly, when she tried to enter an ugly contest, they said they didn't allow professionals.
There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans.
Yo mama so fat, when she bought a fur coat, she made a whole species extinct.
Memes
Today I got a lecture from my mother, and congratulated her. Why?
Because she managed not to damage me in a physical fashion.
I hooked up with my German girlfriend. It was really distracting when she kept saying her age.
Your momma's so fat she started "Fat Lives Matter". Meetings are everyday:
11 o'clock McDonald's, 12 o'clock KFC, 1 o'clock Pizza Hut.
Your momma is so old she has been a waitress at the last supper.
A: Why are you so sad?
B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.
A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?
B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie.
Yo momma is so ugly, she made my Happy Meal cry.
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."
"Why couldnât she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."
"Knock knock." "Whoâs there?" "Not Susie, sheâs still on the ground."
"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."
"Why couldnât Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."
"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."
Yo mama is so fat that when she walks, she causes earthquakes. She is so big that she has her own zip code and gravity field. She is so heavy that she needs a crane to get out of bed. She is so obese that she can't fit in any clothes, except for a circus tent. She is so large that she blocks the sun and causes eclipses.
My girlfriend dumped me today. Apparently, I don't stand up for her in fights. I don't care. She used to push me around all the time.
Last time I talked to my girlfriend, she was yelling at me to put the hammer down.
I broke up with my deaf girlfriend because she never listened to me.
I was walking this hot girl home, then she noticed me, then the walk turned into a run.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period?
She can taste the blood off her sonâs cock!
What do you call a blonde in the freezer?
Her parents named her Cindy, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.
The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"