She jokes
My sister beat me in a race. She gave me a raspberry. I was bitter.
A mathematics professor arrived home at 3 am drunk.
His wife was up waiting for him.
"You said you'd be home by 11:45!" she yelled.
He responded, "No my dear, I said I'd be home at a quarter of 12."
Bully: Ur momma so fat that the whales said we are family even though you are a little bigger than us.
Nerd: Yo momma so ugly that when she went in the bathtub, the water jumped out.
Silence...................punch!
Q: Where did Helen Keller go to school? A: Anywhere she was home schooled.
Yo mama so fat, she walked by the TV, I missed 3 episodes!
Did you know Helen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard?
No, and neither did she.
One time a girl was telling her boyfriend if she could have sex with him for just a little bit, and he said sure, so she just started having sex. She asked him if they could have a baby, but he said sure and started going hard. She told him she was joking, but he wouldn't get off. So she did the 69, and months later, she died, and he said he thinks he killed her with sex.
My wife and I went to the bar to get a drink, but 2 mins later, I see her dead on the ground. I guess she couldn't see the bottle flying at her face. Then I laughed and went home.
I miss the good old days when you could have a light joke at someone else's expense. Like doing that marital rape thing, it never used to be called that. It used to be called "serving your husband" or "wifely duties". The real joke is that it was legal until 1990.
Why is that a joke?
Because it is piss funny seeing the look on her face when she wakes up in the middle of coitus.
Why is that a joke?
Dude, come on, you want to start your day off happy or not?
Why is that a joke?
She literally looks like she just seen a ghost and sort of flops about trying to fend you off like a rag doll. It's piss funny.
No seriously, dude, why is that a joke? It sounds more like a felony.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she went for plastic surgery, they accidentally gave her face a Brazilian Butt Lift!
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn’t wearing a seat belt.
Yo mama so stupid that she sat on the TV and watched the couch.
We are in a matrix, wake up.
One person said you are much more beautiful than Cinderella. The next day, you're in court and Cinderella is the witness.
(P.S. she was born to be a drama queen.)
Yo mama so ugly that on Halloween she didn't get candy.
Yo mama so fat that when she went to the fatty competition, they said no because they didn't want professionals.
(Just a joke, she's probably kind.)
Yo mama so fat when she goes to the shoe store, she needs to take their advice and get XXXXL.
Yo mom is so fat that when she stands on a scale, she broke it, lol.
Yo mama is so slow, when she stepped on the highway they had to order a crane to come move her from starting traffic.
Why did the child throw the butter out of the window?
So she could see a butterfly.
I whopped my daughter's butt because she doesn't listen.
I now have a court date for child abuse and crimes against a deaf person.