She jokes

Mom

Your mom is so fat, she wakes up on both sides of the bed.

Banana

Why did a girl like bananas?

Because one day she might need to be ready.

Mom

Your mom is so fat that she mains Heavy from the game Team Fortress 2!

Mom

Your mom's so fat, she don't need to be worldwide, she already is.

Mama

Your mama so fat, when she put a leg in the car, the wheels deflated.

Virgin

He: I am 60 and I have to slog 12 hours a day to make a living. Do you call it life?

She: I am 28 and still a virgin, do you call it life?

Mama

Yo mama so fat, when she went up the elevator, the World Trade Center collapsed.

Dad

My dad and I were talking and my cat left the room.

So I said, "I guess she wasn't feline it."

My dad said, "You've got to be kitten me, that was purrfect!"

I said, "Literally."

Minefield

Why did Little Sally get hurt while playing soccer?

Because she fell into a minefield.

Mama

Yo mama is so slow, when she stepped on the highway they had to order a crane to come move her from starting traffic.

Bed

She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez. Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed!

Mama

Yo mama is so ugly, when she got raped, the rapist was the one getting PTSD!

Mama

Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor slapped your grandma.