She jokes

Yo mama is so classless, she could be a Marxist utopia.

Yo mama so fat, when she went up the elevator, the World Trade Center collapsed.

My dad and I were talking and my cat left the room.

So I said, "I guess she wasn't feline it."

My dad said, "You've got to be kitten me, that was purrfect!"

I said, "Literally."

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because she is a dumb b*tch!

Why did Little Sally get hurt while playing soccer?

Because she fell into a minefield.

Yo mama is so slow, when she stepped on the highway they had to order a crane to come move her from starting traffic.

She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez. Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed!

Yo mama is so ugly, when she got raped, the rapist was the one getting PTSD!

Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor slapped your grandma.

Your mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.

When a deaf girl master baits, does she use the other hand to moan?

In the hospital, I saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep. The ICU was going beep beep beep. I think that's why she can't sleep, so I turned it off. She's asleep forever now. Nighty night.

Your mama so fat, when she walked past the TV, you missed two episodes.

Yo mama so fat that when she went to KFC, she asked for the bucket on the roof.

My sister is the weird dark one and emo of the family. I'm the bright happy one. Once in 3rd grade, I got a huge A on mine, and my sis got a D-.

In the playground near a tree, we were sitting and playing. I said, "Hey, a C- is not that bad," and raised my hand up to give her a high five, but she left me hanging.

One day my friend said: "I want tacos from Katie's, you?" and I said no thanks and she left. I never saw her again. Today I remember that I saw her name on TV as one of the victims of suicide, then I remember her and my motto: "If I'm dying, you're dying with me, you got no choice." I NEVER ate tacos from Katie's again.

A homeless man sees a woman about to jump off a bridge.

A homeless man is walking along a road and comes across a bridge. On the bridge is a woman standing on the railing, clearly about to jump. He approaches the woman.

"Hey lady, are you about to jump?"

"Back off! If you come any closer, I'll do it!" she replies.

"Well, that's fine," he says, "but before you do, can I ask a favor? I'm pretty down on my luck, and it's been a long time since I've felt the touch of a woman, so if it's all the same to you, would you have sex with me first?"

"Eww no, fuck off you creep!" the woman shouts back.

"Fine," the man says. "I'll just go wait at the bottom."

Why should a feminist never be allowed to join the UAW United Auto Workers?

Because the only thing that a feminist will do in the UAW United Auto Workers, is eat pussy all day inside the women's restroom and she will only pay her membership dues, if she is allowed to eat pussy all day inside the women's restroom.

My mom gave me a box of chocolates, and she said life is like a box of chocolates, but then it kind of tastes like dog shit.

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.

Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."