She jokes
Why did a girl like bananas?
Because one day she might need to be ready.
Your mom is so fat, she wakes up on both sides of the bed.
My dad and I were talking and my cat left the room.
So I said, "I guess she wasn't feline it."
My dad said, "You've got to be kitten me, that was purrfect!"
I said, "Literally."
Why did Little Sally get hurt while playing soccer?
Because she fell into a minefield.
Your mummy so skinny, she can't eat!
My sister’s birthday is on 9/11. When she opened her presents, she jumped up with an explosion.
1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.
2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!
3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.
4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.
5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.
Yo mama's teeth are so yellow, when she smiles at traffic, it slows down.
I was making holy water, and my girlfriend walked in, saying, "What are you doing?"
I said, "Making holy water."
She said, "How are you making holy water?"
I'm boiling the hell out of it.
My ill sis said, "Why did the bear say no to ice cream?" and I said, "Why?" She said, "'Cuz it's stuffed!"
Who was the first carpenter?
Eve, she made Adam's banana stand...
Your mom's so fat, she don't need to be worldwide, she already is.
Your mama so fat, when she put a leg in the car, the wheels deflated.
How did Helen Keller know she went to hell?
She didn't.
What did Helen Keller do when she fell down a well?
Screamed till her hands fell off.
Your mom is so fat that she mains Heavy from the game Team Fortress 2!
Yo mama so fat that when she went to KFC, she asked for the bucket on the roof.
He: I am 60 and I have to slog 12 hours a day to make a living. Do you call it life?
She: I am 28 and still a virgin, do you call it life?
Your momma is so ugly that she went out as herself for Halloween.
Yo mama is so slow, when she stepped on the highway they had to order a crane to come move her from starting traffic.