When I was 17, my mom’s door was always locked. I wonder what she was doing.
She Jokes
1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.
2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!
3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.
4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.
5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.
Yo mama's teeth are so yellow, when she smiles at traffic, it slows down.
Who was the first carpenter?
Eve, she made Adam's banana stand...
My ill sis said, "Why did the bear say no to ice cream?" and I said, "Why?" She said, "'Cuz it's stuffed!"
I was making holy water, and my girlfriend walked in, saying, "What are you doing?"
I said, "Making holy water."
She said, "How are you making holy water?"
I'm boiling the hell out of it.
So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"
Your momma so fat when she jumped the world collapsed.
Your mom is so fat, she wakes up on both sides of the bed.
Why did a girl like bananas?
Because one day she might need to be ready.
Your mom is so fat that she mains Heavy from the game Team Fortress 2!
Your mom's so fat, she don't need to be worldwide, she already is.
Your mama so fat, when she put a leg in the car, the wheels deflated.
He: I am 60 and I have to slog 12 hours a day to make a living. Do you call it life?
She: I am 28 and still a virgin, do you call it life?
How did Helen Keller know she went to hell?
She didn't.
What did Helen Keller do when she fell down a well?
Screamed till her hands fell off.
I was just sitting down when all of a sudden she screamed, "Help!"
Your momma is so ugly that she went out as herself for Halloween.
Yo mama is so classless, she could be a Marxist utopia.
Yo mama so fat, when she went up the elevator, the World Trade Center collapsed.
