She jokes
I remember asking my mum: "What's a couple?"
She replied, "Two or three."
Which probably explains her collapsed marriage.
Yo mama so dumb, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept!
Why did your mom cross the road?
Why? She didn't, she got hit by a car.
My girlfriend is so fat, she looked into the mirror and said, "Woah, there are two of me!"
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not Susie!"
I told her "I love you." She said, "I love me too."
I had a new "blonde parts expert" woman call for parts. I needed 2 ought wire for a job. She calls NAPA auto and asks for twat wire. The parts guy was assuming she didn't know about Planned Parenthood? .. 😂🤣
Why doesn't the orphan date the girl?
Because she is a home-y.
Why did the lady go to the dealership? Because she was going to get Hereford.
Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to eat Eminem. 🎤😎
Yo' mama is so ugly, she makes onions cry.
Yo' mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.
Yo' mama is so stupid, she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for her gumball.
Yo mama so fat that when she attempted suicide, she bounced to Area 51.
Yo mama is so ugly, she is the reason Slenderman has no eyes.
Stephen Hawking went on a date last night.
She left after 15 minutes, complaining she didn't like his tone.
Dear algebra,
I don't want to find your X. I don't know Y she left you.
The other day my wife told me to pass her her lipstick, but I accidently passed her a glue stick... she still isn't talking to me.
So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.
We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.
Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.
Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?
I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.