She jokes
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex, sex, sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
I woke up to my daughter riding me in bed. I asked, "What are you doing?" She replied, "Making a Creampie."
Yo momma so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the floor cracked up.
She said no, so I raped her.
Your mama so fat, she walked by a TV and missed eight episodes.
knew she had feelings for me lesgoooooooooooo
So, a guy is evading the draft. The cops bang on his door, and he runs out the back, through an alleyway onto a road. He finds a nun and asks if he can hide under her blouse. She complies, and the cops walk by and don't see them. The man comes back up from under the nun's blouse and says, "Hey man, you've got a pair of balls!" The nun says, "I didn't wanna be drafted either..."
Why did the rape victim stop eating pears?
Because she was told that if you rearrange the letters "PEAR," it spells "rape."
One day, little Johnny woke up to get a drink of water. He passed by his parents' bedroom and noticed sheets bouncing. He asked his dad what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." Little Johnny said, "Who is your partner?" Dad said, "Your mom." On his way up, he passed by his sister's room and noticed sheets bouncing around and asked what she’s doing. She said, "Playing cards with my boyfriend, Paul." The next day, Dad came to ask Johnny a question. The father noticed Johnny was still in bed and asked him what he was doing. He saw the sheet bouncing and asked Johnny what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." His dad asked him who his partner was. Little Johnny said, "You don’t need a partner if you have a good hand."
Yo mama is so black that she has her own solar system.
My teacher got so mad at me for making 9/11 jokes, she hit me twice and I said, "Damn, got hit twice!"
Yo momma is so fat that the ground shakes a lot as she walks.
I asked an emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.
Why should a feminist never be allowed to join the UAW United Auto Workers?
Because the only thing that a feminist will do in the UAW United Auto Workers, is eat pussy all day inside the women's restroom and she will only pay her membership dues, if she is allowed to eat pussy all day inside the women's restroom.
Dear prince,
Gwen is dating Aiden! I can tell by the emojis! She does not like you or the way you talk to her, not one bit!
P.S. She is and will always be dating Aiden! Leave a comment.
Yo mama so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "To be continued."
Teacher: "I'll call your mother."
Orphan: "Go on, see if she picks up."
One day a man dies and goes to heaven. He gets there and sees a bunch of clocks. He asks Jesus, "Hey, what are the clocks for?" Jesus replies, "They move every time you sin." "This is Mother Teresa's, it has not moved so she has not sinned." "This one is Abraham Lincoln's, it has moved twice so he sinned twice." The man asks, "Where is Joe Biden's?" Jesus replies, "It's in my office-- I'm using it as a ceiling fan."
I went on a date with an Eastern European chick. She got mad because I rushed her...
Get it? It's Russia, and I rushed her.
My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.
But don't worry I think she was just joking.
Your mama is so fat that when she wears yellow, kids run after her thinking they missed the school bus.