She jokes

We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.

But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.

My sister is so short she can't walk.

What do a pulse and an orgasm have in common?

I don’t care if she has one.

When you tell your mom that she is bad at jokes, then she tells you, "Well, I made you!"

One time Uma Thurman was Poison Ivy; she was weird in that, except for her punny jokes.

Your momma's so fat, she had to take a selfie using the Hubble telescope.

Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in them.

My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.

We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!

Yo mama is so ugly, when she looked at the mirror, I cracked up.

Why does the singer put a radio in her fridge?

Because she can listen to call music.

Your mama's so stupid that she went on to hike Mountain Dew...

Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to smell her own nose.

Jo mama is so fat that I could write 3 paragraphs, and she still wouldn't fit!

Yo mama is so stupid, she thought Pillsbury was a fruit.

My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset.

She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”

Momma's so fat, she can use her belly button as a breakfast bowl.

I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye!

Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!

What are chocolate's preferred gender pronouns?

Her-she.

(1968) - Hellen Keller died, didn’t you hear?

No?

Well neither did she.

I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.