She jokes

She does not wanna fuck you, and she don’t need you clapping them cheeks.

Yo mama is so ugly, she makes the Flash stop dead in his tracks.

One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.

Five years later, he came back and left again.

There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.

When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.

She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"

54 students died that day.

I saw your mother get into a white Ford Taurus on the corner of Milton and Halliburton, and you're still trying to tell me she ain't got no job cause she "can't get a ride to work?"

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

'Cause she didn't wear a seatbelt.

Why did Miss Stephen get divorced? She didn't float, too.

Mary has a house near a forest. She lives with her bro, and she once asked, "How many trees are there?" Her bro said: "I don't know." She said: "Tree."

Yo mama so short that when she plays mini golf, it's just called golf.

Where did Sally go when she went in the minefield?

Everywhere.

Yo' mama is so stupid, she couldn't find a needle in a haystack.

Yo mama so ugly, she made everybody's face fall off.

Why did Shelley fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms.

"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile. "May I help you?"

"I was wondering," whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the handjobs?"

"Yes," she purrs, "I am."

The man replies, "Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."

Yeah, she called me "Pledge" because I knocked the dust off it.

He: I'm Nike, and you're McDonalds.

She: Why?

He: 'Cause I'm doing it, and you're loving it. :)

Yo mama so fat, when she sat on the iPod...

SHE MADE THE IPAD!!!!!!!

Yo mama is so ugly, she gave Michael Myers nightmares.

My ex's dad died while she was texting me. She said she had a boyfriend, but I told her I had a dad.