She jokes

Yo mama so fat that she would die before reaching the gates of heaven.

What made Adam and Eve's marriage perfect?

He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about his Mom's cooking.

I went to a restaurant and a waiter took my order. She had two black eyes, so I ordered real slow.

Because obviously she doesn’t listen.

My girlfriend got COVID.

This is the perfect time to propose to her. She might just say yes because of the lack of taste.

I suggested to my girlfriend that she would look sexier with her hair back.

Apparently, that’s insensitive to someone during chemo.

I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.

Your mama is so nasty.

She showed up to Red Lobster with her own crabs.

What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?

Slick her hair, she looks 15.

Why did Amy Winehouse snort Splenda?

She thought it was Diet Coke.

Quote from Seth no.1: "I would have fought back, but she was seven."

What did the drunk emo say to the bartender?

Nothing, she was hung over.

How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?

She lost her taste.

My girlfriend told me her lips were dry, and she had the audacity to get mad at me for telling her to walk.

Q: How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?

A: She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.

Yo mama so fat, she the reason why Moses split the Red Sea.

Why did the woman cross the road?

What’s she doing out of the kitchen in the first place?

Q: How many men does it take to open up a beer?

A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.

Yo mama so fat, she needs 17 iPhones to take a selfie.

My biology teacher told us "get out nice and sharp colored pencils." Does she mean as sharp as in the blades I use to cut myself?

Yo mama so fat when someone asked her to touch her chin, she asked, "Which one?"