She jokes

We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.

But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.

Teacher's pen is RED, our pen is BLUE, she is marking an EGG on my marksheet, left with questions and no CLUE.

Yo mama so ugly, when she go to church they say it's a demon!

My sister is so short she can't walk.

Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing.

Her momma said, "Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your underwear!"

Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing no underwear.

Your mama is so slow, she walked by a TV and missed eight episodes.

When you tell your mom that she is bad at jokes, then she tells you, "Well, I made you!"

One time Uma Thurman was Poison Ivy; she was weird in that, except for her punny jokes.

My older sister said she was gonna shoot herself, so I did it for her.

Your mum is so fat, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.

Your sister is so ugly that she made an onion cry.

You and your sister always get into a fight and she says, "I don't care." Then you say right away, "About you!"

Your sister is so stupid, she only thinks an onion will make people cry.

So I threw a coconut at her.

I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes.

So she gave me a hug.

Why were her hands purple?

She heard it through the grapevine.

Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."

Did you know Helen had a playhouse in her backyard? Neither did she!

Your mama so fat she sunk the HMS ship!

How did Gertie Gorilla make the Playboy magazine?

She was ape-ril!