She jokes

Your momma is so fat, when she chose a yellow shirt when she was on a run, the kids ran after her because they thought they missed the bus.

Why was the orphan so successful?

When they told him, "Go big or go home," he/she only had one option.

My sister told me she liked Medusa.

I said, "Huh?"

My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy's facial expression, and when they look down, they do nothing but stay still.

Why does Helen Keller use her left hand to play with herself?

So she can moan with her right hand.

My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.

Yo mama's so stupid, when I said, "Drinks on the house," she got a ladder.

Yo mama's so ugly, when she was little, she had to trick-or-treat by phone.

Yo momma so fat that she was used as a tank in Putin's war.

Today, I saw my friend go crazy eating her ham sandwich. When she went to the bathroom, I checked inside her ham sandwich, and there were fresh drugs.

My ex wanted to humiliate me in front of her friends, so she said I was useless in bed.

Should have seen her face when they all disagreed.

Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.

Yo mama's so fat, when she goes camping, the bears hide their food.

Yo mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.

Yo mama's so stupid, she got locked in the grocery store and starved to death.

Yo mama's so stupid, when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"

Yo mama's so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.

I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... She died of hearing aids.

Did you know Helen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard?

No, and neither did she.

Yo mama so fat that she had to wear a yellow jacket and everyone shouted, "Taxi!"

One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.

She asked me, "What are you doing?"

I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."

She asked, "What does that mean?"

I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."