She jokes
I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of a chapstick. She still isn't talking to me.
My wife and I’s gay marriage counselor advised us to watch porn together. So, we decided to try it out one day and search up lesbian shemale porn.
And that’s the day she found out she was a porn star.
My aunt's star sign was Cancer, so it's pretty ironic how she died...
She was eaten by a giant crab.
When Ariana Grande walked into the church, she said, "GOD IS A WOMAN!"
Hey, y'all, I just wanna say thanks to Gwen on here. She writes jokes, and she got me through a lot xx.
A 14 year old girl finds out she is pregnant. Her: "Crap! My mom is going to kill me!"
The fetus: "lol same here."
Yo mama so clueless, she dialed 911 on the microwave.
Why did the orphan call her boyfriend "daddy"?
Because she wanted that D.
Why did Sally fail her final exam?
Because she had nothing written down.
My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...
Random kid: Yo mama so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Orphan: What's a mama?
Random kid: *shook*
Roses are red, Violets are blue... I fucked your mother's ass, and she had you.
Knock knock?
Who's there?
Not Sally, she doesn’t have any arms.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? She doesn’t have any arms.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus.
The teacher once said to some students, "I was an orphan before your principal hired me."
The students said, "Oof, that is sad."
The teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance. She said, "Is anyone missing?"
The students said, "Your parents."
The teacher got offended and later that day quit her job.
What did they call Susan B. Anthony when she was sleeping on the job?
Snoozin' B. Anthony!
Why'd Sally drop her ice cream?
She was hit by a bus.
Yo mama is so fat when she sees a bus full of white people, she thinks it's a Twinkie, lmao xd.
What is a kind thing to say to someone and what is a rude thing to say to someone?
Kind thing to say to someone: You are the most perfect you there is. Your outlook on life is amaz- (BLAH, BLAH, BLAH ENOUGH!)
Rudist thing to say too someone: You more uglyer than my mama's boyfriend. You are a son of a b word! Okay that is so much rude and why you can say that to a tree but anyway not the point. Bonus: The world's most weirdest name to say to a girl, is Nutter butter, we know that's a weird *and* stupid name because she is not nutter or butter she is a person not a thing! Oh well bye!!!!
When my girlfriend broke up with me, I took her wheelchair. I always knew she would come crawling back.
A man goes into Heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa’s clock, it has never moved because she has never lied."
"There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice."
"Where is Donald Trump’s?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."