She jokes
My girlfriend has a huge crush on Jupiter, I mean she fell HARD!
Have you ever walked into Helen Keller’s house?
She has.
Yo mama's so fat, she woke up on both sides of the bed.
One day my girlfriend and I were just hanging out and she needed to tell our dad that we were going out.
Roses are red. Sunflowers are yellow.
Your mom is so fat she looks like a marshmallow.
Yo mama so fat, the cops arrested her because she had 240 pounds of crack on her.
What does the man say about his baby sister Lydia? "I hope she electrocutes herself!"
Why did the cheetah always cheetah against the lion?
Because she knew the lion was always lion.
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? She gagged and moaned.
Little Johnny walks in on his mom taking a shower and slips and falls under her, and he says, "What's that, Mama?" She says, "That's just an old bear." He says, "He's a mean bear." She says, "Why's that?" He says, "He's got blood in on eye and shit in the other."
What's the only good part of your crush dying before you have the chance to bang her?
She can't say no!
Why did the prostitute lose all her money?
Because she got f*cked.
I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa.
As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of sick fuck does that?
Why did Snow White get kicked out of Disneyland?
She sat on Pinocchio's face and said: "Lie to me! Lie to me!"
Yo mama is so poor, I saw her kicking a can and I asked her what she was doing and she said moving.
I was going to an expensive dinner with my friend's girlfriend because she really wanted to go, but he just got out of surgery, and he said take care of her, so I said, "Will do, bro. I’ll bring her back fuller than a topped-up water bottle."
A guy and a woman are walking into a forest. The woman says she is lonely. The guy then says, "Don't worry, there will be a third person in a little while."
How does a blonde turn the light off after sex?
She closes the car door.
When you are f***ing your girlfriend and then she tells you that you f**k like your guys' dad.
Then you f**k your mom and she says the same thing.
What does Helen Keller say when she touches a basketball?
Duhhuuughhhr.