She jokes
A man goes into Heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa’s clock, it has never moved because she has never lied."
"There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice."
"Where is Donald Trump’s?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."
Two hunters are in the woods and one falls to the ground.
Terrified, he dials 911 and says, “Help! I think my friend is dying. What do I do?” The nurse says, “I need you to make sure he’s dead.” The hunter replies, “Ok, I’ll be right back.” The nurse is startled after hearing a gunshot. The hunter comes back and says, “I checked. Now what do I do?” The nurse replies, “I need you to make sure his heart has completely stopped.” She is startled when she hears the sound of a taser. The hunter comes back and says, “What’s next?” The nurse replies, “I need you to make sure his brain has completely shut down.” The nurse is once again startled when she hears the sound of a bone being crushed by what seemed to be a hammer. The hunter comes back and asks, “Anything else?” The nurse says, “Nope. That’s it.”
Men and women are not equal, speaking biologically and mentally. I don't care what other feminists say. Men are naturally physically stronger, while women are more mentally stable (sometimes). The internet and the media will lie. You feminists say that you are stronger. Well, you wish. You can't hit a girl because she is more sensitive, but she says she is stronger. Like, what the hell?
We're not sexist men; you're sexist women. And BTW, you'll rot in hell for hating God's creation. And also, men were created before women. Search it up in the Bible or online.
My girlfriend has a huge crush on Jupiter, I mean she fell HARD!
Yo mama so fat, she was pulled over... FOR HAVING 12 POUNDS OF CRACK ON HER!
Memes
Have you ever walked into Helen Keller’s house?
She has.
Why did the cheetah always cheetah against the lion?
Because she knew the lion was always lion.
Your mom is so poor, she buys used food.
Yo mama's so fat, she woke up on both sides of the bed.
How do you know if you have a high sperm count?
She chews before she swallows.
One day my girlfriend and I were just hanging out and she needed to tell our dad that we were going out.
What does the man say about his baby sister Lydia? "I hope she electrocutes herself!"
Yo mama so fat, the cops arrested her because she had 240 pounds of crack on her.
Roses are red. Sunflowers are yellow.
Your mom is so fat she looks like a marshmallow.
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? She gagged and moaned.
Little Johnny walks in on his mom taking a shower and slips and falls under her, and he says, "What's that, Mama?" She says, "That's just an old bear." He says, "He's a mean bear." She says, "Why's that?" He says, "He's got blood in on eye and shit in the other."
Yo mama is so poor, I saw her kicking a can and I asked her what she was doing and she said moving.
How does a blonde turn the light off after sex?
She closes the car door.
A guy and a woman are walking into a forest. The woman says she is lonely. The guy then says, "Don't worry, there will be a third person in a little while."
Why did Snow White get kicked out of Disneyland?
She sat on Pinocchio's face and said: "Lie to me! Lie to me!"