She jokes

So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"

Yo mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.

What did the girl with no hands get for her birthday?...

We don't know; she hasn't opened it yet.

Hey, I got some Domino's pizza, salad, breadsticks, and chicken wings for everyone. Yeah, but make sure Ms. Mandingo gorilla don't eat all up, because if she do, I'm going have to shove it up her fur.

Yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scales, it said, "One person at a time, please!"

Yo mama so stupid, when I said, "Go deep," she dug a hole in the field.

Gwen is a liar. She said she is a Christian and then is saying bad, bad, bad, bad words. Shame on you, Gwen, LIAR!

My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"

I said, "Paper."

She said, "Really?"

I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"

Yo mama so fat, she got arrested for carrying 100 pounds of crack.

A man asked another man if he was happy with his marriage. He replied, "Yes, I'm very happy. We go on date night every week." The other man asked, "When?" He goes on Wednesday and I go on Thursday.

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because she was hit by a bus.

Your mama is so fat, she only knows three words: KFC.

I went on a date last night and told my date I worked with animals every day.

She said, "Oh, how sweet. What do you do?" I said, "I'm a butcher."

Why can't Sally hit herself? Because she has no arms.

Beth was from Spain and she had a pig. What did they call her?

Beth-la-ham

These cannibal kids come running into the cave and ask their mom what's for dinner? She says, "Dad's gonna grill wieners!"

Yo mama so ugly, when she looks in a mirror, it says, "Viewer discretion advised!"

I was making holy water, and my girlfriend walked in, saying, "What are you doing?"

I said, "Making holy water."

She said, "How are you making holy water?"

I'm boiling the hell out of it.

A week before Christmas my wife left me. She said I was too selfish and full of myself and she could not take it anymore.

On Christmas Eve, Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said, "All I want is the one I love more than anyone else in the world."

On Christmas morning I woke up in a box under my Christmas tree.

I told my sister a Dairy joke.

She said it was cheesy.