Sex jokes

Eat my ass!

I woke up to my daughter riding me in bed. I asked, "What are you doing?" She replied, "Making a Creampie."

If life was like Pacific Rim, I'd say your mom's pussy was a category 5.

I hooked up with my German girlfriend, but I kept on getting distracted when she kept yelling her age.

I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me.

She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.

Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys. I asked and she said that’s my fam as well. I noticed an Alabama driver's license. I asked which one was her dad. She said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter. I casually asked what he did for work. Self-employed? She said that’s the last time I use ancestry.com!

Tyler only has a kid because they don't make condoms the size of Lego Men.

🤔 🤔 🤔 Why did a ♿ why did a physically handicapped 👨 gay man that is a sex worker received $35.00 for a blowjob from gay men in the LGBT community? because he can suck the chrome of a tail pipe 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌

Gay person to girl: What’s your favorite planet?

Girl: Penus-(penis)(venus), and what is yours?

Gay person: What else, it's Your Anus (Uranus)!😅

What do condoms and whores have in common?

Answer: There is a lot that comes in every box.

What is the difference between acne and a priest?

Acne waits for a boy to turn twelve before it comes on his face.

What do you call the penises of gay men that are in wheelchairs?

Meals on wheels 😋😍🌭🌭🌭🌭🌭

Just 'cause I have a big penis doesn't mean I can't have sex.

I'm required by law to tell you I am a registered sex offender.

What's the difference between a sex slave and a goat?

I don't have a sex slave in my basement...

I tried my best using phone sex online, but the thing about it is the holes cannot fit through.

What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick up a dead baby's ass.

Sex is basically math. You add the bed. Subtract the clothes. Divide the legs to multiply inside.

Penis penis penis hehe penis penis 🍆🍆

Gwen pegs Xavier.

Oil and Ass.

Big Phat Wet Ass Orgy 2.

Bubble Butt Bonanza 2.

Big Bubble-Butt Cheerleaders 2.

Big Wet Butts 5.

There Will Be Cum 9.

Mandingo Rocks That Ass.

Big Butts Like It Big 2.

Blowjob Ninjas 5.

Keep It Right There 2.

Big Wet Brazilian Asses! 6