Sex Jokes

Jack and Jill went up the hill for drunkin' wild sex.

Jack went by Jill to get a lick, and watched Jill get off on a stick.

Swallow cum, not gum.

How are shark eggs and your mom the same? They're both the biggest thing ever laid.

If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.

My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!

The text says "Schrödinger's blowjob?" followed by a description of a hypothetical scenario. It states that while blindfolded one receives the best blowjob ever. The identity of the person is not known and it could be anyone such as Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold or even the fireman's cat. The question asked is if you would take off the blindfold to find out, or just leave it on.

Roses are red, The forest is bushy, OMG did you just cum in my pussy?

Jack and Jill went up a hill so Jill could lick Jack's candystick, but Jill got a surprise when she saw her boyfriend Rik. He got so angry Jack has no candystick no more. Jill went home with a black eye, and Rik got arrested for cutting Jack's candystick.

Why does the environmentalist pimp have his hoes fuck bareback?

He wants to keep condoms out of landfills.

Charizarding.

When you light a girl's pubes on fire, put it out with your jizz, then flap your arms and say, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"

How to give a good hand job?

Bop it. Pull it. Twist it. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. You put your left hand in. You put your left hand out. You put your left hand in and shake it all about.

None of you ever touch my penis.