Sex jokes

I always loved going to Bill Cosby's house; he always greeted me when I woke up with "Rapey-rapey, eggs and bakey."

What do orgasms and impulses have in common?

I don’t care if they have either of them.

The woman was thinking she wanted to have sex, but one second later, she did it on the street with a criminal.

Son: Dad, I had sex for the first time.

Dad: Would you like to talk about it?

Son: Sure.

Dad: Sit down and let's talk about it.

Son: I can't, my butt hurts.

My joke is about Archer, riddles, sex life. Wait, sorry, there is none.

Thanks for reading Archer’s love life story.

When Kenney goes down on his mom, does he taste vegetable or fish?

When a deaf person has sex, do they use one hand to moan?

Roses are red, I have a confession:

A man kills best friend after 10hrs anal sex session.

When I was 11, my mom came home from the bar super drunk that night, and I just wanted to know if they knew where the cat was because I heard a noise. We had a loooooooong talk the next morning.

If you go to the military and you get sent to a country, how many heads will you blow off?

That number is how many dicks you suck.

"I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist.

He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."

Superman was bored and wanted to go out. He called all his super friends, but they were all busy. He even calls Louis, but it's her time of the month.

He flies to the liquor store and buys some beer and gets drunk. As he is flying, he sees Wonder Woman naked on top of the roof. He starts thinking, "I will fly down and have sex with her sooooo fast," BURP, "that she won't know what happened," HICKUP.

He flies to her faster than the speed of light, BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG, and flies away with a smile. He passes out and crashed into a wall.

Wonder Woman jumps up and screams, "WHAT WAS THAT?"

The Invisible Man appears, holding his butt, and he gets off on Wonder Woman and says, "I don't know, but my butt hurts real bad."

A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."

"Rosex, why you search that?" Does it mean "Roblox sex?" Kid, stop!

My stepmom kicked me out of the house because I was raped and got pregnant. I kicked her to death because she had sex and gave birth to my rapist stepbrother.

If God didn’t mean for us to have sex with 11-year-old girls, why did he make them so sexy and so much physically weaker?

I suck poop in my butthole, aka porn.

What's the difference between pussy and pizza... nothing because I'll eat them both.

I'll give you 20 dollars if you let me cum in you.

What is the difference between acne and a priest?

Acne waits for a boy to turn twelve before it comes on his face.