Sex jokes
Jack and Jill went up the hill for drunkin' wild sex.
Jack went by Jill to get a lick, and watched Jill get off on a stick.
How do the men with bisexual tendencies that are members in the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses have sex with other men without being disfellowshiped in the Jehovah's Witnesses Church?
Anonymous sex at a glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar.
What's better than roses on a piano?
Tulips on an organ.
Why was Liverpool better than Man United? We won 5-0, and you have a sex offender on your team.
I was at a friend's place yesterday, and... There was a mother, father, three sons, and a daughter.
That night the mother and father started fucking each other. I yelled and told them there are innocent children in this house.
An hour later, they started up again. I walked to their room and they were asleep, so I looked in the brothers' room and all three brothers were fucking the sister.
I sighed at this. "Incest aside, you guys make a cute family." I started, "So Anna, when am I gonna have nieces and nephews?" They stopped instantly and went to sleep. "Thank you," I replied before walking back to my room they let me sleep in and I passed out for the rest of the night.
Yo mama so FAT...
That when she had sex with you...
Your balls turned to pancakes.
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
Keep the tip.
Why do men like big tits and a flat ass?
Because they got little dicks and big mouths.
Why are most West Virginians going to hell?
Their favorite pastimes (inbreeding and bestiality) are an abomination unto the Lord.
Did you hear about the blind prostitute?
Well, you gotta hand it to her.
What do you call two transgender midgets having sex?
A microtransaction.
Why can’t orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
I'm required by law to tell you I am a registered sex offender.
A baby and his father are sitting in a street cafe. A woman bends over to pick up her keys just as a gust of wind blows up the woman's dress. "va va voom," the baby says. The dad chuckles and says, "Yes. I'd like to have sex with her too."
Me and my wife decided we would only smoke after sex.
I'm still on the first pack. She's up to 2 packs a week.
There were people having sex when it started sinking. Legend tells when you go near the ship you can see semen, and if you listen close enough you'll hear them moaning.
Now that's a hell of a ghost story!
What's the difference between a prostitute and a trash bag?
There's a limit to how much trash goes in the trash bag.
What does a priest hold on to when having sex?
He holds on to the schoolbag.
What’s the best part about having sex with 28 year olds?
There are 20 of them.