Sex jokes
Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex?
Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position.
Roses are red, violets are blue, my bed has room for 2 ;)
What’s the difference between Jesus and a prostitute?
The look they give you while you’re nailing them.
Anyone know how to get an A on the "An Inspector Calls" section of the GCSE paper?
Little Susie had gotten her first period. She told her mom, and they bought pads.
The next month, Susie's mom asked if she had her second one. Suzie said no, and her mom fainted!
So I was at home, and I went to take a shower, and I accidentally walked in on my brother having sex with some girl. So I left. A couple minutes later, I needed my headphones to listen to music, so I asked my mom where she was. She told me she was in the shower. Our house only has one bathroom. Sweet home Alabama.
What did the woman say to the man?
"Stop."
What did the man do?
Keep going.
FUCK MEN IN THE ARSE
My father taught me a lesson of sex in a hypothetical way.
My stepmother gave me a lesson [on] how [it] is going inside?
I had sex with my German girlfriend; it was kinda weird though. She kept yelling her age. I don't know why.
Have you ever tried sex when camping?
It's f***ing intense.
How can you make a woman scream your name when you have sex with her?
Change your name to "Rape."
Meeting a girl at the park is good. But parking meat in a girl is better.
What do you call a dick that doesn't fit in an asshole?
A misfit.
A kid gets home from school and finds his mom and dad having sex. The kid asks, "What are you doing, Dad?" The dad replies, "Having sex with your mom, son," and he starts laughing.
The next day, Dad gets home from work and finds his son having sex with his nan. The dad shouts, "What the hell are you doing, son?" The kid replies, "It's not funny when it's your mom, is it?"
Jonny went to school one day, and later that day his dad got a call saying he needed to pick up his son because he had had sex with a teacher. When Jonny got home, his dad was so happy he went out to the store and bought him a bike. When they bought the bike, Jonny was offered to ride the bike, but he declined it and replied, "My butt still hurts."
Life's like a dick. Women make it hard for no reason.
We are going to a country called Bangkok. When we are there, we will Bangkok.
Sex is like show and tell: you show your pussy and dick, and then you tell each other how you feel.
Hey, Tanya, can I Tanya ass?
What is the most expensive type of sex you will ever enjoy in your life? The type which will shorten your life by 5 to 10 years.