Sex jokes
I got a handjob from a blind woman the other day. She said, "It's the biggest thing I ever had in my hand." I said, "No love, you're just pulling my leg."
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired."
Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!
Get a fucking life, you horny bastards!
A wife and husband were setting up their computer, and the husband made the password "my dick." But the wife fell on the floor laughing because the computer said the password was too short.
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Suck dick.
Closer kin, deeper in!
How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
What is the difference between a man performing anilingus on a woman and a man performing cunnilingus on a woman?
If a man is performing anilingus on a woman, it is not classified as heterosexual sodomy, you fucking idiot!!!!!
What do you call the penises of gay men that are in wheelchairs?
Meals on wheels 😋😍🌭🌭🌭🌭🌭
What is the difference between a woman performing anilingus on a man and a woman performing fellatio on a man?
If a woman is performing anilingus on a man, it is not classified as heterosexual sodomy, you fucking idiot!!!!
What is the best part about Alabama prostitutes?
Family comes first.
Why are Alabamians so resentful of immigrants?
They don't want their sons and daughters to have sex with anyone other than their siblings or relatives.
How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you? I'm so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.
Johnny: Mommy, Mommy! What is incest?
Mom: Shut up and keep licking.
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
Keep the tip.
Why do pedophiles never win a race?
Because they are always coming in a little behind.
You wanna know what's the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? "A refrigerator doesn't moan when I put my meat in it."
I revealed my dick to my girlfriend.
As she saw it, she said, "Nevermind, just finger me."
Condoms? HA! Those are for pussies!