Your mom's so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices!
You know, eBay sucks. I was looking for a lighter, and it gave me 18,906 matches.
What do you call two transgender midgets having sex?
A microtransaction.
Why can't Indians play football? Because every time they take a corner, they make a shop.
Why doesn’t Pakistan have any football teams?
Every corner they get, they open a shop on it!
I bought a gun from Walmart today. I guess they knew what I was going to do with it, because when I pulled the gun on the cashier, I realized the firing mechanism was in reverse.
When was the first Black Friday?
1619.
Yo mama is so fat, she goes to the beach to sell shade.
For sale: Dead canary.
Not going cheep.
What do kids and drugs have in common? I sell both of them.
Badass Toilet Paper Company: We don't take shit off of anyone.
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?
A buccaneer.
What did the cannibal do after eating all the vegetables?
Sold the wheelchairs on eBay.
What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.
What's the difference between drugs and children? I don't sell drugs.
What's an orphan's least favorite store?
Home Depot.
What does Michael Jackson have in common with Kmart?
They're both dead...
When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? -- When there's a sail on it.
What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?
Cash and carry.
