Tweet jokes
Friend: How's it going?
Me: Good, things are good!
Parent: How are you?
Me: Oh, I'm fine!
Twitter: Compose new tweet?
Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.
Why are birds good at social media?
Because they "tweet" all the time!?
What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a parakeet?
Shredded tweet!
if priests were on Twitter, they would tweet, "He's a 10 but he's 10."
What do you give a sick bird?
Tweet-ment!
The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, ... so Trump can't tweet it.
What happens when you get a virus-related sickness? It goes viral on Twitter!
Dream tweeted, and I quote, "Babies kick pregnant women all the time, but I do it one time and I’m the one arrested."
Twitter just blew my mind.
I was having a blast until I ended the stream with a bang!
MrBeast: *breathes*
Twitter: 😡🤬
🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦁🦁🦁🐩🐖🐒🐷🐵🐎+/;!¥/%? Fuckfuckfuuk of your own is also a joke about your relationship with Google and Twitter users who don't know what they think of their own personal life, and the way they have been involved since the last few years of debate is the only thing.
Who remembers when ‘tweeting’ meant “stabbing a hooker”?
I'm shocked about Donald Trump escaping the transgender accusations. Trump is more talkative than any of the popular girls I went to school with! Not to mention Trump's tweets...
On a hot summer's day, a famous celebrity tweeted, "It is a beautiful day, and I'm deciding which kid to have fun with today." To which the local priest replied, "I too am deciding which of your kids to have fun with today."
