On a hot summers day a famous celebrity tweeted " it is a beautiful day and I`m deciding which kid to have fun with today" to which the local priest replied " I too am deciding which of your kids to have fun with today".
The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, ...
so Trump can't tweet it.
Dream tweeted, and I quote “Babies kick pregnant women all the time but I do it one time and I’m the one arrested.”
Why are birds good at social media? Because they 'tweet' all the time!!!?
What do you het when you cross a lawn mower and a parakeet?
Shredded tweet!
if priests were on twitter they would tweet "he's a 10 but he's 10".
friend: how's it going? me: good, things are good! parent: how are you? me: oh I'm fine! Twitter: compose new tweet? me: hellooooo l would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it
Wat do you give a sick bird? Tweet-ment!
Who remembers when ‘tweeting’ meant “stabbing a hooker”?