Sex jokes

What's the best part about having sex with twenty-seven year olds?

There's twenty of them!

What's the difference between a gay and a freezer?

The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

Teacher: Can someone tell me the only living thing that can reproduce without sex?

Little Johnny: "Your wife."

I was fucking this girl, and I started to make her cry.

She mumbled things and squirmed, but I couldn't hear her through the gag I put in her mouth.

My arse hole hurts like no joke, man. I just had to tell that your heads a peanut, you fucking nonce, kid, you fat fuck sack, your mum you dirty cow!

Rubbing everywhere but not the clit and asking, "Do you like that?"

(dude wtf)

Roses are red, violets are blue, your penis smells like stew, and I want to eat it too.

What did the woman say to the man?

"Stop."

What did the man do?

Keep going.

FUCK MEN IN THE ARSE

"This isn't the first time my husband's cheated on me, but you're my sister! You'd better have a better explanation than this magic lamp."

"You know how you have to be specific making wishes? Well, I was really horny and asked the genie to have the world's biggest penis....ended up with a concert pianist that's seven foot tall. Nice guy. Next time I tried, I asked for the world's biggest cock, that was fun but the poor rooster died. So I asked for the world's biggest dick and that's how I ended up on top of your husband."

Sad to think about legend O.G. Mudbone being no longer with us.

I’m only curious how they closed his casket.

What’s the hardest bit about having anal sex?

Repeatedly getting a cock shoved in your arse🤣

I'm 14. I have had sex before. I have 206 bones in my body, but when I'm with my gf, I have 207.

🤔 🤔 🤔 Why did a ♿ why did a physically handicapped 👨 gay man that is a sex worker received $35.00 for a blowjob from gay men in the LGBT community? because he can suck the chrome of a tail pipe 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌

If Donald Trump had sex with an orange, guess what his son would be?

An orange tree! :>

Little Timmy walked in on his parents having sex. His parents look at him in fear. Little Timmy asks, "Mom, Dad, what are you doing?"

The mom replies with, "We are playing house. We'll let you play when you're older," the dad says. So the next day Timmy goes over to play with his friend Johnny, who was, ironically, Timmy's neighbor. Johnny asks, "How was your sleep last night?" "I saw my mom and dad playing house last night," Timmy says. "But they told me I could play with them when I'm older."

After a little bit of playing with Johnny, Timmy went home and saw his Dad playing house with his babysitter. "Dad, what are you doing?" Timmy asks. "I'm playing house with your babysitter," Timmy's Dad said. "But I saw you play house with Mom last night," Timmy told his father. "Well, don't tell your mother," his dad said.

How does a paedophile know if he's good at sex?

It'll forever be a mystery because the victims [are] too young to scream his name.

What turns a girl on more than having sex with her?

When she finds out that you have a vibrator too.

How can you make a woman scream your name when you have sex with her?

Change your name to "Rape."

It's important to wash your sex toys.

That's why priests invented baptism.

A 28-year-old medical student is auctioning off her virginity online.

For $300K, you can have the worst sex of your life.