Sex jokes

Why are most West Virginians going to hell?

Their favorite pastimes (inbreeding and bestiality) are an abomination unto the Lord.

What does having sex with a woman and cooking an egg in a skillet have in common?

Both end with a loud annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean the shit up.

Wait, since I'm underage from having sex, what is it like?

"Mmmmmmmm, daddy, f*ck me harder. I love you, daddy, mmmm. I luv your cock, mmmm, lick me, lick my clit, daddy!"

When it is quiet when you're having sex and you ask your partner to "Do the roar!"

The other day I started watching Game of Thrones.

I told my friend about it. Told him all about the violence, murder, decapitation, gore, sex, gay sex, midget sex, prostitution, rape, paedophilia, incest, and inbreeding... And he was like: "Oh, so you're still on the first episode then?"

What do you call sex in the World Trade Center?

An inside job.

What is gay - curious 🤔 😳

👬 👬 a gay man that is curious about experiencing sex with a 👨 👩 👨 bisexual man.

👨 👨 👩 🚲 🚲 🚲 does it cycle now?

🚲 🚲 🚲

😢 😔 sorry for your luck 🍯 honey it sucks 😪 😞 😒 to be you.

What's the difference between a gay and a freezer?

The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

What's the best part about having sex with twenty-seven year olds?

There's twenty of them!

Teacher: Can someone tell me the only living thing that can reproduce without sex?

Little Johnny: "Your wife."

I was fucking this girl, and I started to make her cry.

She mumbled things and squirmed, but I couldn't hear her through the gag I put in her mouth.

My arse hole hurts like no joke, man. I just had to tell that your heads a peanut, you fucking nonce, kid, you fat fuck sack, your mum you dirty cow!

Rubbing everywhere but not the clit and asking, "Do you like that?"

(dude wtf)

Roses are red, violets are blue, your penis smells like stew, and I want to eat it too.

What’s the hardest bit about having anal sex?

Repeatedly getting a cock shoved in your arse🤣

What did the woman say to the man?

"Stop."

What did the man do?

Keep going.

FUCK MEN IN THE ARSE

"This isn't the first time my husband's cheated on me, but you're my sister! You'd better have a better explanation than this magic lamp."

"You know how you have to be specific making wishes? Well, I was really horny and asked the genie to have the world's biggest penis....ended up with a concert pianist that's seven foot tall. Nice guy. Next time I tried, I asked for the world's biggest cock, that was fun but the poor rooster died. So I asked for the world's biggest dick and that's how I ended up on top of your husband."

How does a paedophile know if he's good at sex?

It'll forever be a mystery because the victims [are] too young to scream his name.

Sad to think about legend O.G. Mudbone being no longer with us.

I’m only curious how they closed his casket.