Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!
when you have sex with a coworker but remember it's a family buisness
So this woman woke up since she had a bad dream and was yelling about her bad dream then in the bed her husband woke up and said "Hey You Just Woke Me Up In A Sweet Dream" she said "Oh Sorry Babe" then she asked him what was his about then he responded like "I was with a woman me and her was in the middle of dreamy sex you just ruined it" she said "AAAAh" he asked her what her dream was about then she replied as "I was trying to suck a mans Penis and A cock trying to get cumpiee out of it"!
Q. How does a girl from Alabama know when her mom is on the rag?
A. She can taste it on her brother's cock.
One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!
What is a glory hole at the adult bookstore used for?
campaign contribution to the Republican Party.
An orphan walks on a path asking for his mum soon he remembers he dont have a mum (also i had sex with ur mum ahe was screaming daddy~ ;) )
Did you know nine of ten dentists recommend oral sex !
whoever took my dildo
I hope your having a good time
What’s one thing you can say at a funeral and during sex.
She was too young.
What do you call sex in the world trade center?
An inside job.
My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard so my mom wanted to see so I wiped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dads
When I die, I want my body to be cremated. And fucked! Fucked really hard, papí!! Like a real whore!! Like a real tramp!! Stuff your entire cock in there!!! Uhh!! Uhh!!
It’s disappointing that Los Angeles doesn’t offer better transportation, especially since my neighbor offers free mustache rides every night.
Why are sex toys something to stuff in your asshole and not a big racecar?
Las Vegas has a new 550 foot tall ferris wheel, hoping to gain tourists.
What’s already gaining “tourists”? Whores.
In 2013, it was reported that China has lost around 28,000 rivers; over half of what they thought existed. Some say climate change is the cause, others say it’s their harsh, economic expansion that’s unapologetic to the environment.
My theory is that those 28,000 rivers were sold to underground river-sex trafficking.
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams "bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied "aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is "dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he know, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling "fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!!" Oh.
Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."
Sad to think about legend O.G. Mudbone being no longer with us.
I’m only curious how they closed his casket.
Who remembers when ‘tweeting’ meant “stabbing a hooker”?
